


Moxxie's Doubts

by KathyPrior42



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: C.H.E.R.U.B.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyPrior42/pseuds/KathyPrior42
Summary: Ever since I.M.P. killed Martha and her family met their demise, Moxxie begins to question his role as a hitman in I.M.P.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Moxxie's Doubts

The serious, white-haired imp remembered their recent mission all too well. 

“Moxxie, stop shaking,” Millie had said as Moxxie aimed a red and black crossbow at a family picture with shaking hands. The pointer hovered around the man’s crotch area. “You’re gonna shoot our only hellhound!”

Loona lay down on the couch, holding her phone and the picture in her paws. 

“Wow, I feel so loved,” she muttered in a sarcastic tone. 

“Just take a deep breath,” Millie told Moxxie before inhaling, “…and let it out.”

“But, it’s a family!” Moxxie exclaimed. “Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?”

“I mean, if that’s what the client wants,” Millie began, hands out in a shrug.

“Maybe like a shitty dad,” Moxxie pondered, scratching his head with the bow. “Or a mob family.” He spoke in a sputter, “That’s understandable.” Then he spoke normally. “But to eradicate an entire innocent…seemingly innocent, upper middle class family bloodline?!”

“Hey!” Loona barked. “You don’t know they’re innocent.” Loona pointed to the smiling boy. “This kid probably sets dogs on fire.” She pointed to the girl with braces. “Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online.” She pointed to the dad wearing glasses beside the mother with her baby. “And this guy…”

Loona narrowed her eyes and muttered, “This guy definitely watches.”

“Exactly!” Millie agreed. “Humans are full of secret nasties.” She wiggled her fingers. “That’s why so many of them end up here.”

Millie cupped Moxxie’s cheeks and continued. “But guilty and innocent aren’t our business, Mox. Killing who we’re paid to is our business.” She squished his cheeks with her palms. “Choose a target.”

She gave him a kiss before Moxxie turned around and positioned his weapon again. “ 

“I just think it’s a bit excessive,” he mentioned, “and we could be a bit more selective, is all.”

Just then, Blitzo barged into the room followed by Mrs. Mayberry. “Guys! I’d like you to meet…”

Shocked, Blitzo accidentally fired his arrow, pointed tail standing on end. The arrow ricocheted around the room. Millie jumped into his arms after the arrow knocked down a computer, tore a hole in the picture Loona was holding and hit the bottom of an eel tank. The tank wobbled dangerously. The arrow flew at full speed toward Mrs. Mayberry, but Blitzo caught it with one hand.

“…our newest client!” he finished.

The tank crashed to the floor, sending glass, water and the electric eels to the floor. The eels burst into electricity, setting the room on fire.

“Dammit Moxxie, I just bought those eels!” Blitzo yelled. Moxxie looked down apologetically. He figured it’d be best to hurry along outside. Moxxie grabbed his trustworthy rifle, being careful to avoid the flames. He followed his wife down the stairs and out the door, while Loona quickly retrieved the book. To calm his mind, he played Phantom of the Opera songs in his head. 

Later on, the imp firefighters put out the fire and carried the eels away. The gang waited outside as Mrs. Mayberry got into a yellow taxi cab.

“Bye,” Blitzo called to her, “and don’t worry, we’ll get that skank in less than 24 hours or your first kill is free!”

He waved as she left.

‘Kills aren’t supposed to be free,’ Moxxie thought.

“When did we start implementing that deal?” Moxxie asked.

Blitzo turned around to face Moxxie with anger in his eyes. “When you set fire to my office in front of a…” He leaned in close and yelled in his face. “…client, you fucking dipshit!” He shoved Moxxie out of the way. “Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!”

“You mean our only ticket to the other side?” Loona asked, pulling out the grimoire. “Yeah, got it.”

“And that’s why you’re my favorite, Loony,” Blitzo baby talked to her. “You get a tweet now.”

He caught the treat in the air with his long tongue and Loona looked in utter disgust.

“Ew. Stop it. You’re so gross!”

“Aw stop it,” Blitzo mentioned with a playful grin at her, “I get enough of that from my therapist. 

Loona rolled her eyes and left. Millie drew an upside down pentagram with chalk on the wall. It glowed red and a portal opened to the living world.

Blitzo shoved a hand into Moxxie’s face and raised a fist. “Now let’s go lick some ass!”

“The expression is ‘kick some ass,’ Blitzo,” Millie smirked with a snap of her fingers as she walked through. 

“Mine’s better,” Blitzo smiled as he followed her.

“Aw, fuck,” Moxxie grumbled as he stepped through the portal. He knew that this was a bad idea.

The imps made it in front of the small house by the forest and lake. Blitzo and Moxxie rose from the bushes by the side of the house.

Blitzo peered in through the window. “That’s gotta be her,” he whispered with a dark chuckle. “This is too easy. Moxxie, you want this one?”

“Me?” Moxxie asked in surprise. He thought that Blitzo would’ve just gotten started on the deed. Moxxie did not want to be up to the task this time. 

“Yeah,” Blitzo smirked. “This one’s simple enough for you to handle.”

Moxxie peered through the window and his face fell. He watched the seemingly innocent family getting ready for dinner. The two children were seated at the table while their father sat at the head spot. 

“It’s just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital,” Blitzo added. His boss’ words weren’t helping. He saw the blonde woman with a dinner platter in hand, affectionately rubbing her nose and face with her husband.

There was no way Moxxie could do it.

“Snooze you lose, Mox!” Blitzo called, pulling out his black rifle with flames painted on it. He aimed and saw her doe-eyed innocent face through the reflector. “And I’ve got you, bitch.”

Moxxie stared at his boss with concern. “Wait, are we actually killing a family?!”

Blitzo turned to him. “Oh don’t be a puss, we’re just killing a mother. We’re ruining a family!” He lifted up the gun and it clicked.

“But…” Moxxie didn’t know whether to try and stop him or not. Doing so would only make things worse.

But Moxxie couldn’t stand the thought of the father and kids heartbroken at the sight of their mother’s dead body. Killing a family or ruining one…no family deserved either fate. 

“Hold on, hold on, let’s just think about it…” Moxxie began, lifting up the rifle, trying to get it out of his hands. A gunshot rang out, hitting the mirror inside the house. All four family members gasped out loud. 

“What was that, Ralphie?” Martha asked her husband, who sat at the table.

Ralphie shook his head. “I don’t know Martha, but whatever it is…”

He stood up with a sharp-toothed grin, holding a rifle in his hands.

“They’re gonna be tomorrow night’s dinner!”

Martha set the platter down on the table, downed a glass of wine and smashed the glass on the floor.

“Alright, kids! Gun’s out!” She called with an evil grin. The kids, too, grinned evilly as they pulled out smaller guns. The boy pulled out his from his brown beaver-skin hat.

“Looks like we’ve got some rabbits to catch, youngins!” Ralphie said with an evil chuckle.

Back outside, Blitzo was fuming. “What the fuck was that, Moxxie?”

Moxxie breathed anxiously before letting out a croak, his snake-like tongue flickering. He fell to his knees, hands over his face. 

“I’m sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy.” Tears fell from his eyes. “I panicked.” 

Blitzo face-palmed. “Oh who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth, you’re already a parasite leeching off your momma’s tits.”

He grabbed his chest in an imitation of holding breasts. He leaned in and poked Moxxie painfully on the head. “Now get the fuck over yourself you baby dick prick!”

A bullet fired through the wall and shot Blitzo in the arm. He cried out as black blood splattered. 

“A new hole!” Blitzo cried in terror. “Scatter!”

Blitzo and Millie leapt into the air just as another gunshot created a larger hole in the wall. A grinning Martha and Ralphie leapt through the hole and chased after them, guns drawn. Moxxie peered out from behind the bush, rapidly looking around. A child’s hand grabbed Moxxie’s pointed tail and he yelped. He only saw a barrage of fists from the children before passing out.

Moxxie opened his eyes and gasped with a squeak to find his hands and body tied with rope. He appeared to be tied to a stitched up headless dead body sitting on a chair. Moxxie’s face fell in fear as he stared at the boy and girl in front of him. Both their eyes were red and devious grins formed on their faces. 

Moxxie tried to defuse the fear. “Oh. Well, hello there little ones. Aren’t you cute?”

The psychotic children spoke in low distorted voices, at the same time: 

“It’s nice to have a new critter to play with.”

Moxxie glanced up in terror at a red spotlight above him. The light revealed a human head high up and several limbs on plaques. The wooden walls were stained with red blood. Tow plaques held stitched up faces of skin. A larger plaque displayed a dead man with long white hair, arms crossed, eyes and teeth bulging out. His upper chest was connected to the plaque. A picture frame made of bones displayed another face made of skin inside it. Human skin was tacked to the wall with “bless this mess” stitched onto it. Moxxie looked and saw a dead human body on a platter, an apple in its mouth. Organs were displayed in a nearby bowl. 

Moxxie took one look at the dead body and whimpered. “Aw. Crumbs.”

Moxxie struggled to free his tied up hands and body. The children were content to watch him struggle. It seemed like forever. In the reflection of the window, he could see the orange yellow lights of fires. He gasped.

“Millie!”

They were going to burn her alive! He had to get out of the gruesome workshop room.

The two kids stared deviously at him. He froze when the girl revealed a long sharp knife in her hands. Moxxie glared with a newfound determination. As the girl raised the knife, Moxxie shoved her backwards with the chair. There was a thud as the chair toppled over onto the floor. Moxxie grabbed the knife and cut the rope loose, freeing himself. A “Live, Laugh, Love” sign and a hangman’s noose hung from the wall. Moxxie burst through the round window, a shadow silhouette with glowing yellow eyes. Wasting no time, he raced into the woods and toward rows of torches. Hanging from the trees were red Satanic symbols. There were also tents around the area. He ran as fast as his cloven feet could carry him.

Then under the full moon he saw a horrible sight. Blitzo and Millie were tied to a stake, a stake that was currently set alight by Ralphie and Martha.

Moxxie’s breath caught in his throat when Martha aimed her rifle at his helpless colleagues. He silently drew forth his rifle, took a deep breath and…

Bang!

His aim was true. Martha’s right eyeball flew from its socket and her body collapsed to the ground. 

“Moxxie!” Millie cried in relief. 

Moxxie rushed over and freed both of them, untying the rope.

‘”You’re not getting you goddam paycheck for this one, Mox,” Blitzo chided as he fell to the ground after being freed. 

Moxxie and Millie leaned in close, their heads and noses touching. They gently rubbed their heads, both thankful to see the other alive.

Ralphie tripped over Martha’s body and scampered away. Moxxie glared at him…he had a bone to pick with the guy. 

“Oh yeah, thanks! I’m fine!” Blitzo spoke out in sarcasm. 

Moxxie helped Blitzo up, supporting him. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm’s way. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

Blitzo pulled Moxxie into a hug. “Apology accepted.” Then he spoke to Moxxie in a low threatening voice. “But if you ever pull off a stunt like this again, I’ll fuck you and your wife.”

Just as fast, Blitzo separated from Moxxie and announced, “Alrighty! Job well done! Now let’s get off.” Millie lifted her arms in a cheer. From his chest, Blitzo pulled out a gray horse figure with a back mane like a My Little Pony toy. He put it back and retrieved his cell phone.

“Eh. Yeah give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house,” Moxxie said.

“Okay, fine but hurry up,” Blitzo said. He put his cell phone to his ear and spoke loudly, “Loona! We’re ready to come home, dear!”

Moxxie raced through the woods, determined to set things right. In the background, Stolas was talking to Blitzo, mentioning, “You and I on…peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all night.”

Back inside the house, the boy and girl were in their father’s arms in a corner.

“Don’t move!” Moxxie demanded, pointing his rifle at them. The boy and girl looked scared and innocent. The girl even had a dark gray stitched up teddy bear with her. 

Ralphie chucked. “What are you gonna do, little guy? Kill us?”

“I should!” Moxxie replied, stepping back. “You people are monsters!” Then he lowered the rifle. “But… you should have a chance at a life and a purpose. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them!” 

Moxxie figured that maybe Ralphie and his children weren’t all in the wrong. Martha could have easily used them to help her fulfill her Satanic cult fixations and cannibalism. Ralphie probably didn’t even know that his own wife slept with another red haired man and Jarold, Mrs. Mayberry’s husband. Her beauty and fame may have been what kept her other family members in line. 

Yes, they were a bunch of jerks, but…did they deserve to die?

Moxxie had a better alternative.

“You are going to face your crimes, justly,” he told them. 

He picked up a remote from a stand. “I am calling your earthly authorities and they will make sure you are dealt with, fairly. I am handing this, my way.”

He pressed a button and a television turned on in the adjacent room. A black and white program played. Moxxie gasped in surprise, then looked down at it.

“Oh shit,” he muttered. The black remote had pink and white buttons reminiscent of a smiling goofy face. 

“Uh do you…do you have a phone to summon 911?”

“Yeah, it’s in the kitchen,” Ralphie mentioned behind him. 

Moxxie held the remote. “Then what’s this for?”

“It’s a universal remote,” Ralphie replied. “Got it for the kids.” The kids smiled and he pulled them in a hug.

“Aww,” Moxxie smiled, eyes shining. 

He called the police and hurried back to the portal in the dark woods. 

“There he is,” Blitzo said. “Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?”

“Excuse me?”

Moxxie was getting annoyed with Blitzo’s childish behavior, sexual and selfish tendencies. It was surprising that he managed to survive in I.M.P. for so long. It was thanks to his sexy and powerhouse wife that encouraged him to keep killing and be the best employee he could be. 

Blitzo walked over to him. “Well I don’t care where you cum in the living world, just come to your job on time, alright?” He poked Moxxie several times for emphasis. “See you at the office!” He ran through the portal. 

Millie placed a hand on Moxxie’s cheek. “You doing okay, sweetie?”

“Better now, honey,” Moxxie replied with a smile. “I think I just needed a minute to process.”

Millie tenderly touched Moxxie’s chest. “You have a good heart, honey.” She playfully pinched Moxxie’s nose. “Just a fuzzy head.” She kissed him and Moxxie’s heart fluttered. He smiled happily as Millie walked through the portal. 

Moxxie heard the whirl of blades and flashes of light. He turned around. There were police cars and a helicopter in front of the house.

A voice over a loudspeaker said, “We got em’ boys!”

A missile fired at the roof and the entire house exploded in a fiery inferno. Something hit Moxxie in the face. He stared at the ground and found the head of the teddy bear that had flown off. He stared with a shocked look of disbelief on his face. The family that had a chance to be better was now dead.

His efforts had been in vain.

Blitzo grabbed a stunned Moxxie hard by the neck and pulled him through the portal.

Later on, everyone was laughing and celebrating back at I.M.P. headquarters. They were all wearing birthday party hats. Loona and Mrs. Mayberry held slices of cake on plates. A white banner read “Killed the bitch,” in red letters. A white and blue cake sat in front of Moxxie, the blue icing read “We did it! :)” 

Everyone seemed joyful except for Moxxie. He still felt awful that they had killed an entire family. An evil family, but still…They had come close to being killed or caught. Now here they were celebrating human death. 

Moxxie wasn’t sure if he agreed to the “senseless killing” morals of I.M.P. anymore.

Millie squealed for joy and hugged Moxxie tight around the neck. “Did you see my little Mox, Mox? We did it! Oh Moxxie!”

“Well here’s to another mission accomplished,” Blitzo announced, “…and Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up.”

Moxxie just stared wordlessly at his plate, dark circles under his eyes. 

“And killing people isn’t that big of a deal if they try to kill you back,” Millie added, rubbing Moxxie’s white head of hair. 

“That’s messed up,” said Mrs. Mayberry, “But I paid for it!”

Everyone except Moxxie chuckled at that.

“Yeah, fuck that family!” Blitzo declared, raising a fist.

Loona scarfed down her piece of cake, while Mrs. Mayberry sat down and enjoyed her piece. She told her story about her adventures being a school teacher. 

“I gotta hand it to you guys,” Mrs. Mayberry smiled. “You not only accomplished killing that bitch, but you also managed to kill off her deranged family. Thanks for helping me get my sweet revenge.”

“It’s our pleasure, sweetie,” Blitzo grinned. “Now,” he cleared his throat. He held out his hand, one finger over the other. Mrs. Mayberry fished into her maroon stitched shirt and pulled out a handful of dollar bills. Blitzo took it with a grin and pocketed it. 

“Again, thank Moxxie,” Blitzo said as Moxxie flustered uncomfortably. “He saved us from her and…you mentioned the other members randomly being blow up by police missiles?”

Moxxie nodded. 

The others burst into raucous laughter again, Loona barked in delight. 

“Now that’s what I call a grand finale,” Blitzo remarked. Millie nodded and giggled. 

Moxxie could only take a few bites of the white cake in front of him. Millie helped herself to seconds. She placed a bit of icing on Moxxie’s nose with her finger. She leaned in and gently licked it off. A blush came to Moxxie’s face as her golden eyes shone playfully. 

The lingering feelings gnawed at his insides and he wasn’t feeling very hungry. 

“Hey, can I go take a break, guys?” Moxxie asked. 

“Sure, you’ve earned it, Moxxie,” Blitzo smiled. 

Moxxie stood up and pushed his plate away. Without another word, he walked out of the room. Millie watched him go, her smile falling a little. 

Later on, the group met to watch some TV before heading home. Blitzo and Moxxie sat in the center of a couch, while Loona and Mrs. Mayberry sat in adjacent chairs with spiked rims. 

Blitzo happily sipped on iced coffee while holding his tan colored horse figure. 

“So I talked with that privileged asshole earlier,” Blitzo mentioned. “He wants me to bring the book back to him every month.”

“I knew there was something weird about that guy,” Moxxie muttered.

“Blitzo,” Loona grumbled. “He’s only using you for…dtf stuff.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Blitzo said, crossing his arms. “I’m…sacred to be honest. But what other choice do I have? I was in a hurry and running for my fucking life.”

“Who is this royal guy?” Mrs. Mayberry asked.

Blitzo sighed. “It’s a long story for another day.” He pulled out a case of a VHS Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron. 

“Let’s watch my favorite movie!”

“Not that one again,” Moxxie groaned. 

“We’ve watched that a million times,” Loona added. “Even your old videos of you and your sisters performing at the circus is better.”

Blitzo thought about his rival Robo Fizz and quietly seethed. The imp jester had outperformed him many years ago and was part of the reason why Blitzo temporarily left the circus to later form I.M.P. 

“You have sisters?” Mrs. Mayberry asked Blitzo.

“Tilla and Barbie Wire, yep that’s their names.”

“Oh, oh! I’d love to watch that,” Millie chimed in. “Did Barbie Wire do the tightrope? If I were part of it, I’d definitely excel at knife throwing.”

“I’m much more of a musical theater guy,” Moxxie said. 

“As am I!” Blitzo mentioned. “An imp of all trades and master of one!”

“And what trade is that?” Moxxie asked.

“Being the best!” Blitzo said, hand over his chest. Moxxie rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“Besides, I’ll be helping Stolas host the Harvest Moon Festival coming up,” Blitzo said. “And, I might as well invite you guys along to Loo Loo Land too.”

“Yay!” Millie said, “How fun!”

Moxxie looked nervous. “Mascots…” Moxxie muttered, eyes wide. “I…don’t know about…”

“It’ll be fun, sweetie,” Millie assured her husband. 

“Sure whatever,” Loona replied, still staring at her phone as usual. “Though I want my money back if I don’t get to dunk Moxxie into a vat of acid at the amusement park.”

“Hey!” Moxxie spat at the smirking Hellhound. 

“Wait! What about your clients?” Mrs. Mayberry asked Blitzo.

Blitzo scoffed with a “Pfft,” and waved his hand. “Oh fuck my clients!”

Mrs. Mayberry turned red in the face and glared at him. Her cigarette broke in her clawed hand.

Blitzo’s eyes went wide and he drew back, “I…mean, clients are important to me. Yes. Their concerns always come first and all.”

“Smooth,” Loona muttered. 

There was a moment of painfully awkward silence. 

Silence that was quickly broken by Blitzo saying, “Now, let’s get back to talking about my video!” He held up Spirit

Then Loona added to Blitzo, “Why watch the same thing again and again?” 

“Hey now, Loona, nothing ever beats the classics,” Blitzo said. “It’s a tribute to SpindleHorse.” He sighed. “I still miss her.”

A somber silence ensued throughout the room. Even Mrs. Mayberry went quiet and thoughtful in a way she couldn’t explain.

Blitzo broke the silence. “Alright, let’s get started.” He turned on the old boxy TV on the table and the screen lit up after static buzzed on the screen. 

Blitzo was about to stand up to put the VHS into the player below the TV when a commercial came on.

It consisted of heavenly music and an upbeat jingle. The screen showed a sun rising over a bluish green hills, the sky a shade of pink. Below, there was a group of humans mourning over the loss of a loved one. 

“Feeling sad and blue?” a voice announced. The group of people looked up toward the sky to see white creatures flying in circles overhead. The camera zoomed in closer to reveal two flying sheep.

No, not the sheep that one counts to go to sleep. They were talking animated sheep with little white wings and halos on their heads. One of them was Collin, a white kind-looking sheep wearing light blue-gray overalls and a matching bow tie. His face was light indigo. The other sheep was female, wearing a yellow dress with a fluffy tail, cloven feet and the same heavenly features as her partner. Her face was a sunny yellow. 

“Well luckily for you…” said the female with a swipe of her arm in a sing song voice.

“There’s something we can do,” Collin added in song.

The sky turned into a blue and starry backdrop.

“We can make you come alive,” said the female.

“So you can save some time!” they both sang.

The two sheep stood on both sides of a flying cherub boy with blonde hair and a white baby face. They smiled and hugged in the air. 

Then all three cherubs began the jingle for their company as their logo appeared in bright golden letters.

“Cause at the C.H.E…R.U.B…”

“We’ll stop your honey butt from dying violently…”

The scenes flashed to the three cherubs saving people from murderers and reviving the recently deceased. 

“Cause at the C.H.E…R.U.B.”

“No we never even ask a fee…”

The scene moved to the cherub boy moving his hand dismissively at someone handing him money. 

“Because good people spread the love…”

The scene cut to the two sheep cherubs hugging each other. 

“…and revive from all above.”

A spinning earth was shown, with pink hearts flying from it.

“We do the paperwork for you…”

The scene showed Collin with his tongue out in exhaustion, sitting at a desk with stakes of papers all around him.

“And the heavy lifting too.”

The female sheep lifted a boulder from a crushed man. The man weakly gave her a smile and thumbs up from the hole. A man wounded in a car accident smiled at the two sheep around him.

“So give us a call…”

The winged cherub boy smiled at the screen and did some flying tricks in the air and appeared between the sheep.

“And let us bless a soul, for you!”

All three of them sang together, their mouths in small circles from side to side as they harmonized. 

“Cause we, are the C.H…”

Boom! Fwoosh!

The television suddenly exploded in a burst of smoke and flames. Blitzo stood up holding a rifle in his hands. Everyone sat still, with their mouths open and eyes wide.

“The fuck was that about?!” Moxxie asked. 

Blitzo grit his teeth in anger. “Them. Those cheery good for nothing babies.”

Loona agreed, stick out her tongue. “Their cheesy songs and actions make me sick. Those wimps wasting their time acting all babyish. Ugh.”

“Ever since C.H.E.R.U.B. was formed,” Blitzo explained, “They have been a pain in the ass ever since.”

Moxxie and Millie nodded in agreement. 

“Sometimes after we killed a target,” Blitzo said, “Those pussies would just fly over and revive them! Our clients would then get so upset and we wouldn’t know what happened until later on.”

“Is that why you have those buttons with “Deranged Client,” “Horny Client,” “More Coffee,” etc.?” Mrs. Mayberry asked.

“Partially,” Blitzo said. “We’d have to go track them down again. And sometimes those assholes would say stuff like, ‘You freaks can’t kill me! I’ve been blessed by God’s messengers. I get to live my life for as long as I want.’” Then those sheep would hand out cupcakes, smiley face stickers and a bunch of other crap to people. And their songs about God and love and saving everyone just…”

“Puts I.M.P. in jeopardy?” Loona asked rhetorically.

“Very likely,” Blitzo said, a flame in his eyes. “But that’s not gonna happen. Not on my watch. Although I.M.P. and cherub can’t kill each other…we do tend to make our jobs harder on both ends.”

“So wait,” Mrs. Mayberry added. “I was close to going to Heaven. Maybe they could’ve saved me and my husband. Maybe…things could’ve been different…”

“But then you wouldn’t have your new friends,” Blitzo mentioned and Mrs. Mayberry had to smile. “I suppose it was for the best, then.”

Deep down, she still had that desire to be redeemed…and maybe make things better. More than ever, she wanted to be a source of knowledge and comfort to her school children. 

Moxxie pondered deeply at the thought. He looked at C.H.E.R.U.B. with as much disgust as the rest of I.M.P.

But C.H.E.R.U.B. and Mrs. Mayberry did bring up valid points. C.H.E.R.U.B. could have saved Ralphie and his children. They could help revive those whose lives had been cut too short…give them a second chance at life.

“The jingle was awful,” Moxxie admitted along with Blitzo.

“I liked it!” Millie popped up. 

“Really? Again?!” Moxxie asked, his bow tie briefly bouncing after he opened his mouth wide in disbelief at Millie. “No offence, but you really deserve better taste than that.”

Blitzo took a long sip of his iced coffee. “Well our company will always be better anyway. Those sissies won’t know what hit them when our ratings go back up. They might as well get out of our way and stop existing. Oh please, Satan, make that happen! Now let’s go buy a new TV and watch that classic.”

“Well…” Moxxie began as he stood up. “The C.H.E.R.U.B. company may be our rivals but…the work they do is highly valuable and necessary. They have a lot of potential for sure.”

The room collapsed into stunned silence. Blitzo spit out his iced coffee and coughed loudly. Millie and Loona gave Moxxie looks of disbelief and death. Blitzo’s face was partly in shadow, his eyes illuminating red as he looked at Moxxie in a way that froze him to his core. Almost as bad when he had threatened to screw him and his wife. 

“The fuck did you just say?”

His voice was low and demonic.

“I said, that C.H.E.R.U.B. shouldn’t just be obliterated like that. They serve their purpose like we do ours. Sure, it’s understandable that there are many people who need to be killed off. And I’m more than happy to do it…”

“What? Our celebration earlier wasn’t good enough for you, Moxxie?” Blitzo asked. “You’d do well not to get any bad ideas. Killing is an essential part of our company, and our morals.”

“Wait a minute,” Millie said, walking over to Moxxie. “You seemed upset earlier. Is this about the last mission?”

Moxxie took a breath. “Yes. I realized that the woman was evil and that she had to be killed. But I tried to help the other family members see reason. I even called the police to arrest them…but then, they blew up their house, and now they’re gone…”

Moxxie stared downcast. No one else seemed to care about the lives lost that day. 

“Mox,” Millie said. “That whole family was insane, you saw it yourself. They probably deserved what they got. You did your job and that’s all that matters.”

“C.H.E.R.U.B. could’ve saved the rest of them…”

Why would you think a group like C.H.E.R.U.B. would save those kinds of people?” Blitzo asked. 

“They save everyone they can!” Moxxie said. 

“Which is precisely the problem! They save at the request of their clients using their Bible. We do the exact opposite. They’re many people and things out there who don’t deserve to be loved, either. Just ask your baby wiener havor.”

Moxxie fumed. “You and your inappropriate immature comments are getting on my nerves! Did you inherit your traits from your father, too?”

Millie gasped out loud, covering her mouth with her hands. 

Moxxie had crossed the line now, and there was no going back. On Loona’s phone, an icon of a dead Moxxie had a yellow halo appear over his head. 

Blitzo leaned in closer to Moxxie, pointing a long claw at his chest.

“I am not my father, Mox. I’m not about to let one of my subordinates get in the way of my ambitions now. You may have completed the mission but now I’m starting to get concerned and rather annoyed with you. We’re not innocent, the people aren’t innocent and C.H.E.R.U.B. especially is not innocent!”

Loona and Millie murmured in agreement. 

Moxxie backed away in fear, hands up. “We don’t know that! At least they don’t go around senselessly killing people for no reason!”

“The lost family, lives ruined and gone in the blink of an eye…maybe I’m not cut out to be an assassin after all…”

“Are you part of this company or not?”

“I am, sir,” Moxxie said in a low voice.

“Then stop being a bitch and act like it! I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what I’ll do to you if I ever find you ass-kissing those sheep.”

Moxxie had enough. Without a word, he stormed out of the room and slammed the door. Smoke was still pouring from the ashen remains of metal and glass.

Mrs. Mayberry backed away nervously toward the door. “Well…um…I guess I’d better get going. No longer needed here. Thank you for your service, I’ll rate I.M.P. five stars online…” She added in a nervous singsong voice as she left, “Please don’t kill kids for freeeeee…or at all…”

Moxxie had dreams of his parents being murdered…but then it cut to the three family members screaming as flames consumed them. Moxxie was about to be eaten alive by the demonic children but the sheep flew by and offered to save his life. Moxxie reached out for the cherubs but Blitzo shook his head at him. Black and white stripped imp horns wrapped around his ankles and dragged him down into the depths. 

Blitzo’s father Donnor and Moxxie’s parents glared at him disapprovingly with judgmental yellow eyes. 

“There’s nothing left for you in this ghetto city,” they said. “Fend for yourselves…don’t waste your time on those childish musical circus dreams.”

In a flash, Moxxie and Millie were there naked on a bed, with Blitzo watching them with a video camera. Seconds later, Millie was laughing underneath Blitzo while Moxxie was tied to a chair in a clown outfit, Loona laughing behind him. Then Moxxie found himself paralyzed on the bed with a nude Blitzo over him.

“Time for a ride, little horsie,” Blitzo said in a distorted voice as opera music sounded around him.  
Moxxie woke up with a start next to his sleeping wife, his face breaking out in sweat. Dark bags hung under his eyes. 

He couldn’t fall asleep for the rest of the night.

Somewhere outside, a little sheep demon lady watched the C.H.E.R.U.B. commercial. It was a good distraction from the death of the boar in front of her by a mysterious man in red. A feeling of sadness and hope filed her black longing eyes.


End file.
